August 3   7:25 am Kota Kinabalu  (I will continue with the Romblon story later, but need to tell you about our new KK friends.)

Hi Everyone,

  Yesterday Randal and I had lunch at the Restoran Mars.  Having eaten there several times before, (it’s Randal’s favorite) I knew the “restroom” had a picture of a man outside the door.  One day I had gone looking for a door with a picture of a woman and was told, “only one toilet and everyone uses it.”  No problem.  It was the familiar Chinese squat toilet with a bucket of water and pail to flush and wash down the whole area.  So yesterday when I saw some women looking around, I told them that everyone used the “men’s room.”  The women had spoken to each other in sign language but I didn’t assume they were both deaf.  I did assume they were not particularly westernized since they were dressed in a more traditional Muslim style.  One of the women turned to me and in perfect English said, “Oh unisex.”  I did a total re-evaluation just from hearing that one modern slang term and I know I looked startled.  I know because Emilda told me later that evening when she and her team of architects came to visit us on Doramac.  They were in Kota Kinabalu at the request of the KK government to evaluate the accessibility of the waterfront area for disabled citizens, pregnant women, women with baby carriages, the elderly, foreign tourists, or anyone not able to negotiate all of the everyday architectural obstacles.  We got further acquainted as Emilda seemed to keep working her way to the end of the “restroom” line.  While waiting, she decided to take a chance and ask if we would answer some survey questions.  We said yes we would, so she sat down and we talked long enough for her to be left behind by her undergraduate assistants,  Ph.D advisor and several volunteers with different disabilities who were exploring the accessibility of the waterfront. When she left us we invited her to come visit us on the boat.  Happily she took us up on the offer.  

   Emilda is a lecturer and Ph.D candidate at the International Islamic University of Malaysia.  Dr. Fadzidah Abdullah is her advisor.  They and Che Rahim and Ahmat Zairh  undergraduates in architecture and Emilda’s great friend Sibyl who lives in K K and teaches high school English all came to visit us last night.  We had a wonderful evening and made more wonderful friends. 

Emilda with her arm around Sibyl.  They have been friends since childhood.  Though both had on the same blouse, Emilda is Muslim and Sibyl, Catholic explaining the difference in their dress.  Standing behind Sibyl is Fadzidah.  Fadzidah earned her undergraduate degree in Lubbock, Texas and her Ph.D in the UK.  She is Emilda’s Ph.D advisor.  Ahmat is standing and Che sitting.  They are both undergraduates who hope to go on to do graduate work. 

  Emilda worked as hard as she could to teach me how to play CONGKAK.  www.wikihow.com/Play-Congkak will do a much better job than I telling the rules.  Emilda was amazingly patient.  She explained and demonstrated; demonstrated and explained and finally, maybe I sort of kinda understand.  When I read the rules on wikihow this morning,  they did make sense so I must have learned something from Emilda’s patient efforts.  I vow to learn to play.  The white are small shells that are used as playing pieces.  It was a great gift!  When Emilda handed it to me wrapped up, she said, if we already had one she would take it back.  She was of course joking knowing no way would we already have one.    I could tell from the shape of it we didn’t already have one.  Now we do and it will be a wonderful reminder of a wonderful evening.  “Congkak is a game suitable for 2 players using a board which has several houses and 2 storehouses.  The object of the game is to gather as many congkak seeds into your storehouse.  It is a game played during one’s free time and is normally played by women, especially liked by youths.  The game, related to mancala, is commonly played in Indonesia, Borneo, Singapore, Malaysia, and the Philippines.”   I do remember seeing the boards in the Philippines.  I was intrigued by it and asked a street vendor who had one what it was, but only know understand his answer!  Emilda brought one with shells rather than seeds because of our connection to the ocean.  The shells feel so nice in your hand.  Emilda loves to play and plays alone of with her daughter.  Both Fadzidah and Sibyl had some knowledge of the game.  The young men had no clue.  But they both knew how to use the timer on their cameras. 

Randal led the boat tours. 

We took lots of photos.  This was not only a research/ paid government project but also a chance for two friends to spend time together.

Fadzidah was quite an adventurer herself and had traveled in pursuit of her studies. She had to learn to understand Texas English and then British English.  I know I had problems just learning to understand Tallahassee English when I went to Florida State for my MLS. 

Group photo

Randal and I took turns posing in group and individual photos.  But you know what we look like.  And in those someone was always left out because I don’t yet know how to do the timer on my camera. 

They were great sports about the bandannas.

Fadzidah and Che wore them in the traditional Malay style.

They were such an interested and interesting group.  I would like to sit down and have hours to “interview” them individually.  And fun too!  I had made some brownies and Randal and I had loaded up on ice cream grocery shopping after lunch, so we had snacks after the tour.  Always snacks!

Sibyl and Emilda had gone out on the bow to do “Titanic” poses. 

Emilda especially was hoping “Captain Jack” Depp would show up rather than Leonardo DiCaprio. 

When we said good night, I felt as if we had all known each other for much longer than one short visit.  They wanted to know us and we wanted to know them.  Hopefully our paths will cross again. 

Hopefully I haven’t made too many errors in telling this story.  If I had, I do hope someone sends me corrections!